If you're still in States, here's the mail 
that's doing the rounds in
England!---Submitted by Ian
 
 
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the citizens of the United States of America,In the light of your
failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby
give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.  Her
Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume Monarchial duties over
All states, commonwealths and other territories.  Except Utah, which she does 
not fancy.  Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% 
of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) 
will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.  
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.  A questionnaire  will be circulated 
next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to 
a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
 
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
   look up "aluminium".  Check the pronunciation guide.  You will be amazed at
   just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise 
   your vocabulary to acceptable levels.  Look up "vocabulary". Using the
   same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
   know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.  Look up 
   "interspersed".
 
2. There is no such thing as "US English".  We will let Microsoft know on
   your behalf.
 
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
   really isn't that hard.
  
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
   good guys.
 
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
   but only after fully carrying out task 1.  We would not want you to get
   confused and give up half way through.
 
6. You should stop playing American "football".  There is only one kind of
   football.  What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
   game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
   may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
   longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
   Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a
   difficult game.  Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play
   rugby(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
   stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
   nancies).  We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side
   by 2005.
 
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
   they give you any merde.  The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there
   is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians
   have never been the bad guys.  "Merde" is French for "shit".
 
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday.  November 8th will be a new
   national holiday, but only in England.  It will be called "Indecisive
   Day".
 
9. All American cars (Except pickups!) are hereby banned.  They are crap
   and it is for your own good.  When we show you German cars, you will
   understand what we mean.
 
10. Please tell us who killed JFK.  It's been driving us crazy.
 
 
Thank you for your cooperation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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