This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article
was "Best Comeback Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested
Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula,
GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will
be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency,
and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on
Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin
patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and
squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At
least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the
road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his
purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged
"need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he comment
ed with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently
failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was
unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached
him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer
Taylor."I walked up to Lawrence) and he's...just working away at
this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when
she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir,
but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze
and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked
me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it
midnight already?"
